Octogenarian's Funny Bone will bring a smile to your lips.
This is my most recent article posted on Doctors Hospital's website (my byline will appear if it goes to print and is posted online for a local
newspaper).
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Parking Spot Romance
Dear Mr. Toyota in space 26,
I realize I’m a cute little
thing and all the cars in the parking garage want to be near me. I am also
fully aware of the competition between you and the green
Honda in space 24 vying for my attention. Seeing who can get closest to
me without going over the white parking line has gotten a bit ridiculous. It
has got to stop!
At times, I’ve accidentally banged my door into your
side. I’m sure you thought I was flirting with you. However, I did not mean to
lead you on. It was truly an accident because you and Mr. Honda have given me
no space in your quest to capture my heart.
I like you both, but I’m not in the market for any new
romance at this time.
I am trying to let you down gently, but for the record
I want you to know that I’m attracted to big guys such as Ford trucks. They’re
so manly!
Sincerely,
The cute little Mazda Miata
in space 25
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A very interesting and unusual start to my New Year
10:30 PM – I arrive home on New Year’s Eve after going out to dinner with a friend.
11:00 PM – My head hits the pillow.
1:00 AM – The young-adult son living with his father in the apartment downstairs pounds on their door. Their dog starts barking. The son knocks sporadically for the next half hour. The dog becomes more anxious with each passing minute.
1:30 AM – I lean over my balcony rail to tell him his dad is not home.
1:31 AM – Young man responds, “Yes he is. He’s asleep.”
1:32 AM – I say, “No, he isn’t. His car isn’t parked in its space right outside your door.” I go back to bed.
2:00 AM – Young man knocks on my door. He asks to use my phone because he locked his keys in his car. I have a steak knife in my hand that is out of sight on the other side of the door… just in case. After talking with his father on my cell, he goes to the workout room in our apartment complex to wait for his dad. Their dog begins making odd noises that sound like scratching on the wall.
3:00 AM – I’m still awake, so I insert earplugs hoping to get a little more shut-eye.
4:00 AM – I look out my window to see the dad’s car parked in its regular spot. I never heard him arrive home since my hearing was blocked by the earplugs that are now irritating my ear canals.
5:55 AM – I climb out of bed, take a shower, and dress to start my long day. I never did fall back to sleep.
7:15 AM –My eyes are bloodshot from sleep deprivation. What a way to arrive for the technical arts assignment I volunteered for at church this morning.
Hey, it’s a story to tell! And I know humor is hidden in there somewhere.
Despite the unusual start to my New Year, I know something awesome will occur this year. I’m looking forward to whatever good things God has in store for me.
11:00 PM – My head hits the pillow.
1:00 AM – The young-adult son living with his father in the apartment downstairs pounds on their door. Their dog starts barking. The son knocks sporadically for the next half hour. The dog becomes more anxious with each passing minute.
1:30 AM – I lean over my balcony rail to tell him his dad is not home.
1:31 AM – Young man responds, “Yes he is. He’s asleep.”
1:32 AM – I say, “No, he isn’t. His car isn’t parked in its space right outside your door.” I go back to bed.
2:00 AM – Young man knocks on my door. He asks to use my phone because he locked his keys in his car. I have a steak knife in my hand that is out of sight on the other side of the door… just in case. After talking with his father on my cell, he goes to the workout room in our apartment complex to wait for his dad. Their dog begins making odd noises that sound like scratching on the wall.
3:00 AM – I’m still awake, so I insert earplugs hoping to get a little more shut-eye.
4:00 AM – I look out my window to see the dad’s car parked in its regular spot. I never heard him arrive home since my hearing was blocked by the earplugs that are now irritating my ear canals.
5:55 AM – I climb out of bed, take a shower, and dress to start my long day. I never did fall back to sleep.
7:15 AM –My eyes are bloodshot from sleep deprivation. What a way to arrive for the technical arts assignment I volunteered for at church this morning.
Hey, it’s a story to tell! And I know humor is hidden in there somewhere.
Despite the unusual start to my New Year, I know something awesome will occur this year. I’m looking forward to whatever good things God has in store for me.
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