Don’t fly solo.
While bicycling through an empty parking lot, I spotted a massive nest at the top of an industrial light pole, so I pedaled around it in the hope of glimpsing a nest dweller.
On my third pass, I saw movement. Feathers at first, and then the distinct shape of a bird’s head.
The bird, a brown-and-white osprey, perched himself on one of the large branches that rimmed the nest. A slightly smaller female joined him. I made a mental note to take photos of the duo in the near future.
A few weeks later, I sighted a third head visible just above the rim of the nest. A baby osprey opened his beak as his mother dropped food into his mouth.
Within days, I set up my camera several yards from the osprey’s light pole. The male kept eyeing me from the nest as I focused on him through the viewfinder. At one point, he spread his wings, took flight, and soared in a wide arc. He let loose a line of white poop before landing back at home. A bit later, he lifted off and circled again, and then honed in on me.
Was he irritated that I had invaded his space? Did he want to shoo me away? Skedaddling, I took cover beneath a tree in case he intended to poop on me.
After taking many pictures, I decided to search for other photo opportunities at a grassy area near the parking lot.
As I set up my tripod on the grass, a flash of red flew into view and disappeared down a hole in the trunk of a palm tree. A woodpecker with a red mark on his head kept poking his face out of the hole. It was if he wanted me to leave so he could go about his business. I photographed the bird, and then packed up my gear and headed home.
When I thought about the bird encounters, two things came to mind. First, the woodpecker staying inside the tree trunk reminded me of my tendency to hole up. Second, the osprey keeping an eye on me near his home reminded me of my discomfort when my space is invaded.
I shook my head at the silliness of comparing birds to humans. With that said, please bear with me for a moment as I reveal something about my past.
In my younger years, I spent a majority of my life not being vulnerable in friendships. It’s not that I didn’t have friends. It’s just that I feared vulnerability—the risk of baring one’s soul with the potential of being hurt, emotionally. Yes, just like other kids, I experienced ridicule by opening up my heart during those innocent, tender years.
Consequently, I mismanaged my “alone” time that should’ve been better spent replenishing my heart, soul, body and mind. Without that kind of renewed energy, I was unable to pour into authentic friendships with abandon. I tended to worry about saying or doing things that others might dislike. The fear of being disliked was embedded in me as a toddler. That’s right. A toddler! As a result, I didn’t let people see the real me for decades. It was my way of self-preservation.
And then the Lord rocked my world. He helped me to overcome my fears. He healed me and showed me that the real me is likable.
He also showed me that the abundant life we are created to live can seem elusive to those who struggle with opening up their hearts. He revealed that I was not created with a lone-ranger mentality. That I was never created for a solitary lifestyle.
I still tend to fly solo yet truly enjoy people and socializing. Go figure. Recently during the COVID-19 lockdown, I even wondered if I’m a bit more of an introvert than I give myself credit for being. I have to be mindful of my tendency to hole up like the woodpecker. And the osprey’s irritation with me brought to mind that sometimes I have to shake off my discomfort during those times when I prefer not to have my personal space breached. If I don’t, I might miss the chance to console those who are brokenhearted, wounded, or oppressed. To point them to the one true Healer.
It took me a long time to finally “get” what I didn’t understand as a child and young adult. That I need time by myself to refuel in preparation for engaging with people. To do this thing called life.
God created us to do life together. He hardwired us with a desire for fellowship and relationships. The proof is in the fact that He saw the need in Adam for a helper suitable, so He formed Eve from Adam’s rib.
Have a blessed day!
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’… So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and… took one of the man’s ribs and… made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.” (Genesis 2:18-22 NIV)
