Rear Guard Conquers Blue Funk

Have you ever been in a blue funk where your perception leads you to believe you’re insignificant? Perception is the keyword here.

Recently, I was in such a place. A pity-party place God never intended for me but used to show me my worth as a friend.

Within a short period of time, two people cancelled their plans with me. Why was I so bummed about this? Well, as a youngster I was taught the value of keeping your word and telling the truth. By doing so you showed respect to others.

So when a friend with a history of backing out on plans cancelled just hours before a ticketed event, I felt disrespected. Another person didn’t tell the truth about her reason for cancelling another get-together. These two situations and several others came at me like rolling thunder clouds. I felt chewed up, spit out and stomped on… repeatedly.

Felt is the pertinent word here.

A celebrity recently said rejection is God’s protection. Hmm. God must have been in the middle of showcasing that He would be my “rear guard” (Isaiah 58:8 NKJV). Although I felt rejected, God saw the bigger picture. He had my back.

I must add that since moving to my new Dallas apartment, it’s been harder making new friends. We all desire human companionship as well as a sense of community. God created that need in each of us.

As I poured out my melancholy heart to an out-of-state girlfriend, she prayed for me. Two hours later that Friday night, I stood beside a volunteer named Carrie while serving meals at a soup kitchen for the homeless. Please note I’d never volunteered during that time slot before nor met this lady.

Have you ever had something so unexpected change your outlook about yourself? Something that can only be explained as a God thing? This encounter was one of those moments.

When I told Carrie I was looking for a new church home, she invited me to a service in a Dallas suburb the following night. You know what’s amazing? I’d been visiting that church’s north Dallas campus for several weeks.

A coincidence? I think not.

After that Saturday night service, Carrie, her husband and I drove back to their loft in downtown Dallas. Wow! I was blown away. I’d chosen that historic building where they live as the home of a character in my fiction novel.

A music festival was in full swing at the park across the street from their place, so we stepped outside to enjoy the concert. The sights, sounds, and smells of a Saturday evening in downtown rejuvenated my soul. A calm delight settled in me as I got to know this beautiful couple. We talked about our families and told many of our life stories—some pretty comical. This must be what New York City is like at night when you’re in the company of good friends.

It amazes me I felt like such a failure in relationships the day before, yet there I was having a great time with these people. God is so merciful. He used a chance meeting to show me I am still important to Him, and still capable of cultivating authentic friendships.

Using Carrie’s apartment building in my story was a godsend, showing us something we had in common. With both of our lives built on the rock of Christian faith, what better foundation to build a new friendship?

“Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.” – Isaiah 58:8 NKJV